Yeah, this is going to give people nightmares.

Speaking of dumb tickets, I just got one to play musical chairs with the customer service people. They are literally shifting one person down a desk then looping around. So currently it’s A - B - C, they want it C - A - B. I want my B - A - C to I - N - C - R - E - A - S - E. A ticket came in… - The Something Awful Forums - love it, great thread, great comment
Girl with no legs, no arms says she received unfair marks in the “jumps/kicks category” during her cheerleading tryout Drew Curtis’ - low blow fark, low blow, haha.
You’re a Nevada cop whose son and his skinhead friends chase down a Native American family and beat the unarmed father half to death with crowbars and baseball bats. Do you (C) arrest the victim for battery with a deadly weapon?

This needs way more coverage.  Cop’s son beats down a dude, and cop coverup ensues. Article at

note: “The convenience store clerk told her that there is a video which shows the attackers jumping out of the vehicle with baseball bats, but police had not asked for the video as evidence.””

Woman creates “Mobile Breastfeeding Truck” - an ice cream truck with giant breasts on top of it; Floating version planned on a motorboat Drew Curtis’ - headline, haha.
hahahah. awesome.

hahahah. awesome.

Chris Hansen caught cheating on his wife by hidden cameras. Why don’t you have a seat over there? — fark, headline, hahahaha.
Gang warfare alleged over Shaq sex tape. Defendant claims that’s ridiculous, since everyone knows that Shaq can’t approach the hole without help — one of fark’s headlines of the week.
I was making a pumpkin pie with a friend once and we accidentally dumped about 10 times the proper amount of nutmeg into it. We scooped out what little we could and, since we didn’t have enough stuff to try again, we decided to just keep going and see what happened. It looked like baked baby shit and it tasted like how I imagine hatred must taste. We hid it in whipped cream, put on our best Proud Baker faces and made her boyfriend try a piece.
He still hasn’t forgiven us.
Well, I sure fucked THAT up: The biggest kitchen mistake you’ve ever made. - haha, the kitchen fuckup thread story.